There's always one thing. When everything is perfect you can count on the fact that one little thing will come along and deflate your balloon, causing you to float back down to reality land. For me that thing is that my boyfriend has no interest in having children. Ever. There are a bunch of reasons which I won't go into. And they are logical reasons. Nevertheless, I still want to have kids. Not now. Not next year. But someday.
Being that our relationship is really wonderful, we both have an interest in resolving this little issue (who am I kidding - it's a pretty big issue). It shouldn't really be so difficult. After all, it's not like I'm like that ridiculous, radical OctoMom. I just want two or three kids maximum, not fourteen. But with kids, you can't really compromise. There's a pretty huge difference between one kid and none. So we are at a stalemate. It's not relevant most of the time since we are both college students at the moment and are a long way off from that stage of life. But we both know that this issue is looming in the distance, waiting to sabatoge us.
Every time we go to a restuarant, the mall or a grocery store we usually manage to have one experience or another with a small child. They are unavoidable and seemingly everywhere. Perhaps it is the surprising amount of noise they make considering their size. Or the messes they seem to produce on a continual basis. So it has become a tradition for us that whenever one is cute and smiley and I can't help cooing, he will roll his eyes. And I consider that a point for my side of the arguemnt. And whenever a baby is screaming at the top of his little lungs or a toddler throws a temper tantrum, he will smirk knowingly at me as if to say: "See? This is what the little monsters are really like." And he wins a point for his team.
Regardless of how this all turns out in the end, I am glad that I have had the experience of evaluating why I want children. To really think about the pros and cons and what my motivations really are. I suspect that most people just do it because it's what you do. You date because you don't want to be alone. You get married because you fall in love (hopefully - there are worse reasons). And then once you're married you have kids because your parents are bugging you about producing grandchildren or because your friends have them or because you want to make a mini-me or because your biological clock is ticking so loudly you can't hear the difference between it and your grandfather clock.
The difference between me and many pre-baby women is that I have a lot of experience with children. I have been babysitting since before I wore bras and I'd like to think I know a lot. So on one hand, if I do have kids someday, I'll be just a little less in the dark. But on the other, I don't have the benefit of being naive. Yes children can be adorable and wonderful but there are many, many negative aspects of being a parent. I only experienced a small portion of those since I get paid at the end of my babysitting jobs, at which point I go home to my large babyless bed in which I can get a whole night's rest without interruption.
Last night, nearing the end of a long babysitting job, a toddler barfed all over me. When I say "all over" I am not just saying that. The poor thing was sick - what can you do. I got her changed into different pajamas etc. I must say I handled the thing quite well. But as I stood in the shower after the fact, wiping the toddler vomit off my body, I couldn't help thinking: "Why do I want this again?!!" Let's face it. If you are a parent chances are you are going to get vomited on a couple of times. And worse. So my boyfriend may be winning me over to his side just a little. But if I do decide that it's all worth it and give in to the baby bug, I will know why. It's because I honestly, truly believe that I would make a fantastic mother. And that's worth something.
