Pesach Cleaning

I didn't go off the derech for the fringe benefits, but I have to admit that they are really nice. One of the many is that I don't have to clean for Pesach. I should still do a Spring cleaning at some point, but there's no manic scrubbing or frantic covering of counter tops. My mother gave me a whole bunch of chometz so I didn't even have to go food shopping this week! Life is good.

What Are The Rules?

Call me young, naive and silly but I'm of the belief that laws should be uniformly enforced. The reality is that laws are often arbitrarily enforced, sometimes for political reasons and sometimes it's based on the temperature of some bureaucrat's coffee on a particular morning. I think that's insane.

Case and point: Immigration laws. The law says that entering the United States illegally is a crime. The reality is that if you are a Mexican and enter the United States illegally, you will practically have a welcome mat rolled out for you - with the wording in Spanish no less! You will get all sorts of government benefits that your own government wouldn't even dream of giving you.

Several major roads in the area where I live are absolutely covered in illegal aliens. Dozens, sometimes hundreds of them. They're not difficult to find. If the government wanted to, they could be picked up and deported in no time. In fact, I would have no problem offering my services for free, and call up ICE every time I saw one to help them with their efforts.

The thing is that the government has no interest in deporting illegal Mexicans. They don't care how many Mexicans cross the border every day. Instead, immigration laws are used against illegal immigrants from more developed countries - people who speak English and are literate enough to contribute more to the United States than they take in benefits. People from countries such as Israel.

http://www.jewishtimes.com/index.php/jewishtimes/news/jt/national_news/federal_authorities_move_to_deport_illegal_israeli_immigrants/17173

The link above describes a vendetta by the United States government to deport Israelis who work at those mall kiosks everyone has seen. I hate those kiosks just as much as the next person - truly I do. The workers are pushy and annoying, and the products are worthless. That said, I would much rather have people who speak English and have jobs coming to the United States than illiterate Mexicans who cost us far more in emergency room bills, WIC and foodstamps than in any perceived benefit they provide through cheap labor.

So why are immigration laws selectively enforced? Politics, plain and simple. It's horrendous and it should be illegal. Either enforce a law or don't. But don't enforce it when it's convenient for you. That's just wrong.

On Being A Loud Mouth

I suppose I've never really been shy about expressing myself. I have the most fascinating conversations with complete strangers sometimes - whether on line at the supermarket or waiting for a seat at a local restaurant. Seriously. In fact a couple of days ago I had a conversation with an older couple about the social implications and undertones of the 80's movie Fatal Attraction. Don't ask how it came up because I don't remember.

It's kind of nice living in a world where self expression no longer gets me sent to the principal's office. However being so opinionated (I have an opinion on practically everything) can take its toll. I tend to get stressed out. Luckily there's a form of catharsis almost built in. I write letters. At least four or five a week.

In the past week I wrote the president to let him know exactly what I think of his current policies (I managed not to use a single curse word but it still wasn't pretty), the town where I live about the massive hole in the road (no it's not just a little pothole - trust me on that) as well as a congressman and senator or two. Not that any of them care what I think. But it feels good just to get the words onto a sheet of paper. And chances are some underpaid aides will at least glance at the letters before they are unceremoniously dropped into a garbage bin.

Not all of my letters are about complaints though. No, don't get the wrong idea. I recently wrote this company in Canada that manufactures the most delicious chicken nuggets ever invented (email me if you're curious). To my complete surprise, I received a personalized reply today from them thanking me for my kind words. They even sent me a cute kitchen magnet.

I doubt many people write to companies unless they are upset or want something. It must be kind of thrilling for someone who deals with complaints all day to get a letter essentially saying "I like the job your company is doing. Thank you and keep doing what you're doing!" Try it sometime. Pick a product you like, find out what their contact mailing address is and tell them that you really enjoy it. You probably won't get a response but just sending the letter feels good. Trust me.

Not Trusting the Internet

In an age of Twitter and Facebook and billions of dollars in internet sales, it's hard to imagine that anyone is still uncomfortable placing an order online. But there are. At my job, I get calls every single day from people who refuse to place their order online and insist on having a real person place it for them.

What they don't understand is that I'm entering their information into the same system they would, and their information is actually less secure that way since they're giving a live human being their credit card information. There is a market for credit card information, you know; a black market where there are sales like "buy 20 credit card numbers, get two free". It doesn't really matter because I'm not an unscrupulous person. But plenty of people are.

I guess they're just old fashioned. It's not that hard to understand. I mean I'm twenty two and the internet was in widespread use by the time I was a teenager. But for someone who's over fifty and not overly educated the internet could very well seem to be a mysterious and untrustworthy invention. You enter your information and where exactly does it go? How is it protected? You and I understand the basics of internet security and encryption, but they don't.

These are the same people who write checks and letters and like doing business with a real human being. As old fashioned as that is, I can see the appeal. Yes I buy almost everything online and have been banking online since the moment I turned eighteen. But I'm from another generation. One that's more plugged into technology and less interested in genuine human interaction. You know, the kind that doesn't involve text messaging or social networking sites. Just sitting and having a chat.

Yes technology is awesome and convenient, but I think there is still some value in unplugging every so often. Otherwise humanity will end up eventually resembling the blobs in Wall-E. How's that for food for thought.

Ten Ways to Get IDed at a Bar

Some bars are really strict about IDing anyone and everyone. I know this because my grandmother once got asked for ID. And there's no way anyone's mistaking her for someone under twenty one. But even the most lax bars will ask you for your ID if you make one or more of these ten mistakes:

1. Giggling and/or whispering. Dead giveaway.
2. Acting nervous.
3. Dressing like a high school kid.
4. Glitter. Anything with glitter. Especially eyeshadow.
5. Looking like you broke into your Mommy's makeup bag. Less is more, girls.
6. Ordering a drink as if you've never done it before. Research what you want beforehand and order it as if you've done it a million times before.
7. Drawing unnecessary attention to yourself by being louder than everyone else.
8. Coming in groups of more than two. When you have three or four people it's much easier to spot under-agers.
9. Displaying a fake ID when you're not even asked for ID.
10. Annoying the bar tender.

If you dress and act like you're over 21, chances are you'll be able to enjoy your time at the bar in peace.

Disclaimer: I do not condone underage drinking, nor do I admit to having done it myself.